She’d met him just a couple of times but was immediately taken and before she knew it he’d proposed and so started her happily married life, her parents ecstatic, especially her father as her prince charming was the son of his extremely well-off college friend and he knew his daughter would never want for anything.
After the first few smiling months, she discerned he was quite controlling but she ignored it and gracefully gave in though deep in her heart knew that he wasn’t the perfect guy that she thought he was and her initial attraction was now addressed in a completely different manner, his vast knowledge which she touted proudly to her mother made her realize that he was simply too arrogant to say I don’t know, his affection for her quite ordinary and she still teared up remembering when she’d just been brought back from the labor room and overheard him state unfeelingly to his parents that all mothers have to go through this pain, in a no-big-deal tone of voice.
He didn’t restrict her much when it came to money but he was quite miserly with her as compared to his own family and even their children, a notion she at once dismissed, ashamed of her jealousy, knowing she should be happy that he loved his kids, instead she compared their overly expensive gifts to her second best brands, even though he could easily afford the best.
It painfully struck her that their repeated trips to Paris, Italy and other sought after destinations weren’t because she also wanted to go, but simply because he did, his selfish attitude hidden from her friends who gushed in awe at her luck, finding such a loaded husband who made her travel the world.
She chided herself for feeling this way, going over in her mind that he never laid a hand on her, nor abused her and even though he embarrassed her in public, targeting her sloppy cooking or her forgetful ways, this was just the way he was and she shouldn’t try to change him, even though she changed and tried to take this one-sided compromise in stride, knowing that he’d never asked her opinion about anything but she had to ask his permission before taking any step in life, be it decorating the house or being invited to dinner, always discussing it with him first, whereas he’d accept or decline any invitation without consulting her.
As years went by she wondered why he’d asked her to marry him in the first place, coming to the conclusion that it must have been her compliant nature and after figuring out the kind of man she had committed herself to, a person she felt she had to prove herself to, there was one aspect which she firmly decided she’d never renege on, which was making sure that her children and especially her sons, would never turn out like their father.
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Dollops of Heedful Ramblings 
He’s such a selfish ass.
Yes he is and he’s probably too arrogant to even notice!
Excellent story! Love that she is going to make sure her son’s don’t turn out like him.
Thank you so much! Yes, sadly she’s stuck with him, but at least she won’t let her children be influenced by his non-caring attitude.
Oooh! You captured the subtle controlling and manipulating of her husband so well. Great Job! KL ❤
Thank you so much! Yes, a typically controlling husband who thinks the world revolves around him! 🙂
This is an incredibly true to life and sad story that I am sure many women have experienced. Emotional absence is a form of abuse. No matter how much materialism and comfort is present, it means nothing if there is not a loving partner to share with.
Emotional absence…exactly! Surrounded by simply materialism and one-sided compromise is a life she may force herself to lead, but it’s a hollow marriage and as you said, a form of abuse (which such women endure for the sake of keeping their family together) but it certainly means nothing…. Thank you for your comment! 🙂
How important it is to assess a person thoroughly before marrying them. Sadly the gloss often outweighs the practicality and perceived faults would disappear which they never do. That she hopes her children don’t follow his example is much more difficult than she imagines as they may admire him immensely and want to grow up like him.
Sadly that’s so true. No one is perfect but there must be given and take from both sides … unfortunately they might grow up like him but hopefully she’ll do her best to make sure they see him for what he really is.
Many of my thoughts have already been expressed by others. Such a sad story. Emotional distance is perhaps the greatest gap to close and this poor woman is stuck so deep. She has a tough road ahead as she struggles to raise her children in spite of their father’s example. I kind of hope she decides to ditch him!
Somehow it seems as if such wives take emotional distance as just a part of marriage…totally unfair on the woman of course, but like you said, the only other option is ditching him… but that too would open a whole new can of worms… the least she can do is make sure she focuses on herself and stays as happy as possible. But what an awful situation to be in. .. Thanks for your comment! 🙂
Aw, I want her to be happy! I hope she dumped him!
Yes, she totally deserves someone a million times better than him! Thanks for reading! 🙂
So important in those situations to be sure kids know this is not how people should treat each other
Very true. Kids need to realize this is not the way to treat others, even if (unfortunately ) the guilty one is their own parent.
Fantastic ending. Her husband abused her emotionally or by his lack of emotion. Like you said he never hit her but he treated her badly, as if she was second to everything in his life. He didn’t treasure her like a wife should be treasured. She was acquired to bare him kids and be at his side, to do what he wanted to do. But I think despite her suffering, she is a blessing to their children, to her sons, so they will respect women and love their future wives, not treat them like a tag along in life. The husband makes me so mad lol.
‘…a tag along in life’.. Perfectly put! That’s exactly how he treated her and though people might say that’s just part of marriage or no man is perfect…at least he’s not a monster… it’s still no excuse and a woman may bear it but it doesn’t make it right. The children certainly are blessed to have a mother like her! He’s an undeserving jerk!☺