FFfAW: Forsaken

Credit: TJ Paris

Broken hearts still beat and so did Priscilla’s. It thud painfully and bitterly. Each beat an agonizing precursor to the next.

They had grown up together, the vast green fields surrounding the windmill their personal playground.

Then years later he’d taken her up to the windmill loft, blindfolded. As he slid off the covering, she gasped in delight at the lush green fields going on for miles. Then he’d gotย down on one knee, not the first place one might choose to propose, but for her it was perfect.

Then the war took him away for months and when he returned, his eyes revealed a stranger. He curtly said that he’d found someone else, a nurse, who had tended his wounds and offered succor.

She stopped going anywhere near the windmill after that day, when he had so coldly and unapologetically asked for his ring back.

Had the war changed him? She desperately tried to find a reason for such treachery. How could a childhood soulmate and soldier trained in honour, exude such betrayal?

Written for Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers


About swritings

Author: Ugly Aphrodite (Available on Amazon Kindle) Ah, the need to get your thoughts out there! Happy reading folks!
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28 Responses to FFfAW: Forsaken

  1. Shivangi says:

    Wow a great story of heartbreak in such a few words. Bravo!

  2. I can feel her pain and confusion.
    Well done.

  3. That’s a powerful question to end on sw, I like how you constructed this story with he windmill as the focal point. Well done and sadly war does change people.

  4. mandibelle16 says:

    Very good story. I’m sure the soldier went through life-altering and awful experiences. I could see how he could relate more to the nurse because she had been taking care of him. I feel bad for the girl he left at home whose feelings didn’t change. Also, I believe, if this is more modern times, the ring is hers to keep or sell. He did the breaking up so she doesn’t owe it back to him. Had she done the breaking up, she should return it. That’s just how I see it, I suppose.

    • swritings says:

      Great interpretation of the story. War does take a lot out of a person, but it was still unfair of him to treat her this way and to ask for the ring back! Thanks for commenting! โ˜บ

  5. luckyjc007 says:

    It is so sad what war causes. There are deaths, physical wounds, mental wounds, and being away from those you love. However, the old saying “distance makes the heart grow stronger” does not always apply as in this story. He met someone else and fell in love with her…did the war cause that…probably not, it just set up the circumstances and it just happened. Wonderful story.

  6. samratkel says:

    What a tragic tale for the woman who was waiting!

    @Samantha/samratkel from
    Shadow Realities

  7. Su says:

    Pain delivered with something that had delivered joy previously. Attaching our joys to the material things are soo human like.. Great story, loved reading every bit.. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. How sad! He really did betray her! I can feel the anguish and confusion over the change of heart. Wonderful story!

  9. maria says:

    This is splendid, S! Heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time. You had me at your first sentence, Broken hearts still beat and so did Priscillaโ€™s, and your last lines swept me off my feet. Really. How could such a soulmate and soldier trained in honor, exude such betrayal? Well done!

  10. any1mark66 says:

    Agonizing precursor of the next…. That’s great! There is a lifetime of pain I them five little words.

  11. Ellespeth says:

    she’s better off without the ring. maybe she’ll discover that when she answers that final question.

  12. I can imagine her hurt after waiting on the scoundrel.

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