Sunday Photo Fiction: Oblivious

Sunday Photo Fiction


They exited the chapel, husband and wife, he watched from the shadows, expressionless. He was supposed to be the one who said I do, but instead, it was his best friend. She hadn’t even bothered with an apology, just a simple shrug of the shoulders and lame excuses; we weren’t meant to be, it’s for the best…. and him, Mitch, his best friend?! He hadn’t even faced him! Nothing! Not a word!

He clenched his fists and his wet grasp tightened around the revolver. He hadn’t decided which one of them he’d shoot first.

He shakily raised his hand.

“Don’t do it Jack!”

He spun around stunned, and saw Lucy, his next door neighbour.

He didn’t know how, but she managed to dissuade him from making the biggest mistake of his life. Lucy, the unattractive girl whom he’d silently laughed at, mocking the freckles on her nose as a permanent case of the measles. She however had loved him from afar, seen him fall in love, his heartbreak and followed him here.

Sitting in the cafe, still trembling slightly, watching her walk over with the coffee, he realized that the freckles actually looked like crumbled stars, sprinkled delicately across her face.

About swritings

Author: Ugly Aphrodite (Available on Amazon Kindle) Ah, the need to get your thoughts out there! Happy reading folks!
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25 Responses to Sunday Photo Fiction: Oblivious

  1. Joy Pixley says:

    “Crumbled stars” — I love that! I’ll have to remember that next time someone points out all my freckles.

    What a lovely way of showing how you can look at someone with a fresh eye and find them more beautiful than you’d first realized.

  2. Freckles are awesome. I love the turn around. From a devastated day to a new beginning. Great story.

  3. mandibelle16 says:

    Seems like in the end, it was good Jack didn’t marry the woman he originally wanted to, even if she ended up marrying his best friend. Sounds like maybe Lucy was the girl for him and can stop him from doing something he’ll regret. Great write!

  4. Jenn says:

    How lovely. I think now Jack understands how Lucy has felt all these years. I don’t think he deserves her.

  5. Now she has seen the real Jack she should drink her coffee and take her alluring freckles elsewhere. Delightful!

    Visit Keith’s Ramblings!

  6. Love the last line! Great story! 🙂

  7. The Voice says:

    I love the turn of events and your choice of words in describing Jack’s change of heart. How often we take for granted those that are around us. This was a lovely take on the prompt. Well done.

    • swritings says:

      That’s so true, we really do take for granted so many people in our lives, those who genuinely care for us. Thank you so much! I really appreciate your comments! Glad you liked it!😊

  8. Oh, I love the sweet ending. 🙂

  9. athling2001 says:

    Wonderful story. I really like the ending with both finding redemption.

  10. Sally says:

    Ah, a lovely ending.

  11. Lyn says:

    crumbled stars what a wonderful description of freckles. They weren’t worth the cost of a bullet anyway. Here’s hoping Jack and Lucy have a long and happy life together 😉

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