Sitting in a circle, it was her turn to speak but the silence continued.
Dan, their group leader had made them hold hands and chant just before. The words echoed uselessly in her mind ‘I am wonderful, I am great, let go of the hate!‘
The more enthusiastic of the bunch were willing her to talk. Words of encouragement that drifted away the second they vibrated towards her. She wanted to go home and hide under the covers; that’s what she’d done after her daughter was killed. She’d insisted on the road trip, he wanted to stay and spend Christmas with his family. Even Anna was excited to spend time baking Santa shaped cookies with grandma. She was the one who had stubbornly refused and he had given in.
She hated herself, now and forever.
As Dan stacked the chairs after the session was over, Anna came to him.
“You will make Mummy happy again?”
Dan smiled, “I will, I promise.”
He sighed, a curse or gift, he had stopped questioning himself, all he knew was that after he’d shifted to this building, they came to him and he promised to help their loved ones smile again.