Zap! Crackle! Sizzle! Booyah! I got another one! What an adrenaline rush! Don’t believe me? Well, you try falling asleep with one of those blood suckers’ persistent buzzing in your ear at 2 am. What I don’t get is, how, and I mean, how do they know where your ear is? Why the ear?! In case you were wondering, I’m talking about those annoying, irritating, troublesome little creatures called the mosquito. How did it get such a name I wonder? And no, I’m not going to Google it. I’ve had enough of those tiny monstrosities last winter. And because it was winter, with the temperature fluctuating from pleasantly cool, to really chilly, no fans required, hence the little critters were increasingly free to fly as close to you as they pleased, without having to fight against the forceful breeze of the fan.
And so, I take this opportunity to state my utmost thanks to the person responsible for inventing the most beautiful of inventions, The Mosquito Racket (Take that iPhone!). Ah yes, the joy and satisfaction it gives one to watch how those bothersome little insects are jerked onto the thin metal rods, crackling and sparking, never to buzz again. Too bloodthirsty? Like I said, if you had to wake up for work at 7 am, the mosquito buzzes at 2 am, you wave your fingers near your ears to swish it away, back it comes. You bury your head deep within the blanket but the buzzing sound magically resurfaces. That constant buzz, buzz, buzz. And so you decide to take matters into your own hands. You lean over, grab the racket, switch on the light, stay completely still and….wait for it…wait for it... and … ZAP!! Victory! Freedom! A total Braveheart moment I tell you.
Yes, yes, I know you have your sprays and other mosquito repellents, but I doubt they’re very healthy to use. And they even come in different colours, the rackets, I mean. (Ok, besides the point..but in case you were wondering, I have one in a lovely shade of blue)
Now if only a person could invent a foolproof invention that targets those beady eyed lizards? And why stop at these species? Let’s not be racist now and first come up with something to tend with those pesky two-legged Neanderthals that walk among us. From the ones who litter, fight, corrupt, endanger, manipulate, lie, cheat, steal and so on and so forth (Unfortunately, happened to catch the news today, hence the outburst). Well, guess I’ll just have to focus on the ones making me lose sleep at night for the time being. Oh, but it could be a handy weapon in case you got an untimely visit from a nightly intruder? Maybe not, think you’d better stick with your baseball bats for now.
I wonder, do campers pack these rackets along as well? Or are insects buzzing around part of the whole ‘camping in the wild and being one with nature’ part?
Day 13 NaBloPoMo/NanoPoblano/YeahNoMo